Collapsed

long time..
I'm not in the mood..
yesterday when I opened my room door I felt dizzy..
it's hurt a lot since after I closed my door, I collapsed..
not a big deal..
I know why was that happen..
too many thought n things to fix..
when I opened my eyes, I felt my eyes wet with tears..
as I realized what's wrong I cried more..
I want to fix it..
It's such a lame..
I passed these stupid conditions sometimes ago..
it's really not that hard..
but..
I felt it again..
the ache on my heart..
trembling on my fingers..
get choked on my throat..
every time I face this..
it's evolve n I cried again..
I want to stop it..
I want to run from it..
but if that means I have to leave,
no, I won't do that..
I can't do that..
I don't want to..
again and again..
I'll enjoy the pain..
even if it brings me to hell..